Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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