Christians are straight up FREAKS
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
birth control should be required to get into college
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
