Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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