I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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