girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
