In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
