so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
