i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
