I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
