So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
