Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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