Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize