I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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