There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
