I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
