im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
