I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
