I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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