I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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