Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize