you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
