But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
