I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
