Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Randomize