Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
