i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize