I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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