2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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