but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
