WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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