Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
