I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize