But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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