its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You are a genius and a whore.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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