I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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