Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
