Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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