Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
