I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
