escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
