I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
