Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
