Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
