You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
