this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
