I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he shaved USA in his pubs
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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