My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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