dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
