How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
did you just send me my own nude
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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