So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
