I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
