She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
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He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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