I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
