you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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