thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
