theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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