theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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