I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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