so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
