Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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