and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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