please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize