I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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