One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
