New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
