absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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