i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
