Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
