big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
