508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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